Struggling with relationships

Despite what people who are close to me say, I am one of those people who prefer to be in my own company than in the company of others. This is more apparent especially around large family/friends gatherings (such as during the holidays). It certainly is not that clear-cut. There are times when I enjoy the company of others, but over the years I have become more sensitive to things/behaviour that test my patience. Even with people whose company I generally enjoy, there are certain things they do that rub me the wrong way.

Obliviously, I do not prefer to be this way. I'd rather not be as sensitive as I am. However, I find that I am in my best mental health when I keep distance from others. There is a balance to be struck here; where getting too close exposes me to the behaviour that annoys me, and being too far results in not getting the benefit of said person’s company.

Over the years, I have found that it really does not matter who the person is… eventually, getting too close has been disastrous for me.

Perhaps, it is a flaw in my character and personality. Despite my numerous attempts, I have been unsuccessful in achieving any improvement in this area of my life.

It is tricky, and over the years this has resulted in many relationships not blossoming in my life. Occasionally, it surprises how lucky I have been in terms of finding my life partner where I find no flaw in her. She is, in fact, PERFECT for me. Outside this relationship, it is a real struggle.

Perhaps, for this mere civilian, there is no solution to this problem…

Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any suggestions.